Challenges
How do you respond in the face of challenges?
Have you ever had one of those moments, where it feels like the same situation is on repeat? “Why do I keep ending up in toxic relationships? Why do I keep having crappy bosses even though I switched jobs?” These are situations I found myself in more than once.
So what do you do when you find yourself at a challenging point in life? I know for me, I had several go-to responses, option 1 - avoid, just ignore it and pray it goes away, option 2- battle it out, come in with guns blazing, I’m right and you’re wrong.
I could see myself if these patterns of response, there’s something annoying about recognizing a pattern you have and continuing to do it…but if we unpack that a little, it’s your survival mechanism. I’d like to offer another perspective, particularly when dealing with challenging people.
When I find myself in a situations where I’m feeling irritated, annoyed, and triggered by someone’s behavior I ask myself, “what parts of myself are they mirroring back to me?” This is that superpower called self reflection. I know we’ve all heard the phrase, “when you point a finger, there are three pointed back at you.” The reality is, we when are bothered by someone we usually posses the same traits. This can even happen when they are exercising a trait that you wish you had.
I find when I practice this exercise, I find more compassion for the person. I also recognize they’re human, having a human experience, and like myself they’re not perfect and deserve some grace when they’re not showing up as their best self.
I’d like to add one caveat with abusive behavior, I don’t think anyone should tolerate abusive behavior. I believe when someone is being abusive it’s best to walk away. Always remember, people behaving in this manner actually has nothing to do with you, as difficult as that can be sometimes. Matter of fact most people’s shitty behavior as nothing to do with you at all, and is a reflection of their inner turmoil.
Let me know below if you’ve ever tried seeing yourself in others that have upset you. I’d love to know how you handle challenging situations.
